I'm drowning in my own world of pain again and no ones hand has plunged below the water to rescue me. The thought of letting them win burns me to the core and I know that one day they will slip up and fail. It's all the same to me now to see them walk away because I've already had it in my head that one day they will disapear forever. Can this honestly be real? The last thing I remember is being 16 and out of my mind, crazy about things I shouldn't have even be exposed to so young, and not having a care in the world if I died. Now my life is filled with responsiblity and I look in the mirror at a person I can only recognize in my own mother. Part of my life has been stolen and part taken away to a Phoenix that burns love into everyone like a wildfire consuming the forest. I feel torn between this life and my last and I want both, but to choose could kill me and to not...would do the same.